Newsletter #86, by Liz Jardine (08 February 2016)

Samarpan Online Group Meditation Newsletter

TOPIC FOR THE WEEK – A year in the progress of the Soul

These last twelve months or so have been a life transforming, challenging, perception changing period, and one that I somehow think I asked for!  Around the start of 2015 there was a feeling in my life of frustration, that for all the years I had been aware of my connection with Swamiji in this life, meditating earnestly and whole-heartedly, there was one thing in particular that was still a significant challenge and kept an area of mental negativity in my life, that I found hard to fully surrender. Just when I thought I was succeeding, the bubble of my ego burst and the cycle of thoughts would arise again. That’s not to say that I hadn’t seen unbelievable progress over the years and felt the cleansing power of meditation every day, but I knew that there still lurked this negative perception deeper within.

So one morning, just before Swamiji’s 9^th Anusthan (45 day deep meditation practice), I cried angry frustrated tears and did something I’d never done quite so vehemently before – I challenged my Guru that he had to end this situation one way or another and he had one year, ONE YEAR, to do so!

It’s not that I had any doubt that I would carry on meditating all my life as I wasn’t about to throw out what I absolutely knew was my path and the source of my Soul’s satisfaction and awakening – I just felt an urgency to get beyond what seemed a constant barrier to the pure and spotless mind that Swamiji says is the real starting point of meditation. As I sat before the Guru energy picture, the tears subsided and I fell into meditation and, as always, the vibrations carried away the frustration. I knew from experience that my earnest, heartfelt feelings would be ‘heard’ and, at the right time, answered.

Later during the Anusthan, as if by confirmation, a message from Swamiji came (it felt like it was just for me, but of course it was for everyone!). As I write this, I have read again his full message of 5 February – the fifth message entitled ‘From the Satguru’s heart’. If you haven’t done so for a while please do, it is extraordinary in its grace and loving kindness. Here are some extracts…

I keep on ‘searching’ for reasons as to why you do not meditate and why you do not progress spiritually. I have carried out an ‘in-depth’ analysis of aspects that serve as obstructions to your meditation. Secondly, I have also thought about how I progressed spiritually and the obstructions to my spiritual progress and I have prepared a one year ‘Anushthan’ (Deep Meditation Practicum) for you, starting this ‘Mahashivratri’ and concluding on the next ‘Mahashivratri’. 

 The time period of one year has been chosen only after carrying out your complete analysis. It will take you a time period of one year for your ‘spiritual progress’. During this year, not only every day but every moment, you will be mindful that you are participating in this ‘Anushthan’. I will place my conscious attention on you throughout the year for the spiritual progress of whosoever takes part in this year long ‘Anushthan’. So, externally it would be my endeavour, and internally it will be your endeavour. It is my belief that this two way endeavour shall provide completeness to this ‘Anushthan’. 

 …The time period of one year has been decided upon by taking everyone into consideration. After this one year, you shall see the ‘results’ of your spiritual progress in both the internal and external domains…This shall prove to be the ‘golden’ year of your life.

I was shocked and deeply moved. I felt Swamiji had heard my plea, taken my one year challenge, blessed it and given it back to me as one year of his conscious attention for my spiritual progress.

Of course, I wasn’t quite expecting how the year would pan out!

What began to unfold in mid March and completed just this weekend, was a series of intense family events that took over our lives (my husband, Colin, and mine). We found ourselves having to completely immerse ourselves in caring for my 94 year old father-in-law, Arthur, and our young dog, both of whom needed significant attention. It meant we took it in turns almost every day to spend time with Arthur in hospital, whilst the other was at home managing our sick pup. There was nothing to do but surrender to the situation.

However, with all of Swamiji’s messages and his daily wisdom that would pop magically into my mobile phone early each morning, this felt like a year for a deepening understanding of the Soul. In the circumstances, as Arthur faced the end of this earthly life, I understood that this was a unique time of comprehending and experiencing a Soul’s transition and knowing the Soul in a deeper way. At times when he could barely communicate in an audible way, I would find him looking deeply into my eyes, and I’d feel a tangible communication at a Soul level – the peacefulness that would descend was palpable. Swamiji’s daily messages seemed written just for me as he explained the body and the Soul in bite sized pieces at key moments near Arthur’s end. Far from being a sad time, this was a deeply uplifting time, full of realisations and seeing Swamiji’s teachings about attachment and liberation in the Soul before me. I seemed to be sent the right message just when I most needed to hear it, including being pointed by a dear Samarpan friend, towards this heart warming explanation of the transition of the Soul by author Andreas Morritz.

https://youtu.be/DXjeXcHwo_M

When Arthur finally left us at the end of October, I felt like we had been given a precious gift – the chance and time to honour him as Colin’s father, in caring for his needs and providing not just emotional but spiritual support.

In the days after his passing I felt tangibly my Soul’s pleasure. In the days that followed something released in me and I experienced a period of a few weeks of complete emptiness from expectation. I needed nothing, from anyone, I was complete and satisfied. I can only describe it as a gift of grace beyond measure. This was unexpected and I realised for the first time, what having ‘no expectations’ really meant. It was blissful!!!  It affected the people around me, particularly Colin – it seemed like they were released from my expectations too!

As that energy of grace passed, I knew that I had a choice. I could fall back into old patterns of thinking, or I could make diligent efforts to preserve that experience and stop the thoughts at the first one – just as Swamiji instructs us to do.  When you taste the spiritual experience, it is the greatest motivation to want to keep experiencing and embed it into your life. I know I have Swamiji’s energy to support me but, even so, I have to continue the conscious challenging of my thoughts and active surrendering of them, if I am to gain and retain the ‘eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’.

It may sound from my writing like the whole time was one great happiness – it wasn’t, it was hard, felt unending and was a massive learning curve in staying balanced when my attention was focussed on unsettled situations. I felt like I was getting one big karmic cleansing! But I am so grateful for the experiences of the last year, despite the challenges and readjustments we had to make to manage the situations. Even regular meditation, which had been a constant in my life since I met Swamiji in 2001, was difficult some days and I had to learn to meditate with my dog’s head on my lap, just to settle her in the early hours of the morning! She received a lot of vibrations over the past year as a result. Swamiji has said that dogs are the closest to human beings in the progress of the Soul and, having had to let her go this weekend, I know from everything that I’d learned in the past year, her progress into her next life with Swamiji is assured. Having said that, with Swamiji in such a high state of meditation at present, she may even have beaten me to liberation!

Liz Jardine

7 February 2016

Swamiji’s message mentioned above:

5. Anushthan Sandesh 05-2-2015