Newsletter #73, by Sylvie Riviera (13 January 2014)

Samarpan Online Group Meditation Newsletter

TOPIC FOR THE WEEK – Personal experiences of Samarpan Meditation #1, by Sylvie Riviera

A new experience of Love.

I was raised with the cultural and religious belief that putting others first and self-sacrifice was the right way to get affection and Love, so I became an expert at it. For years I put myself last and ended up always being among the ‘injured’ list of the basketball team. Later in life, I forgot about my own needs trying to make things come true for others, dealing with people’s pain, nurturing them back to health, cheering them up, listening from the heart, being faithful to my own beliefs and I enjoyed doing it thoroughly. ‘Let me know if you need any help ‘ was my mantra, but I did feel drained at times and pondered why?

It was at that time that I met Swamiji and He told me otherwise. He showed me how people are responsible for their own lives, not me. He also showed me the way to undo my own personal need to help no matter what. I felt like I was hit by a truck! I had driven for years on automatic pilot and suddenly I had to go manual. Surprisingly, it felt great, it felt 100% me. Most of all, He showed me how loveable I am here and now, not one day. Loveable now as I move through life with doubts and fears (although they don’t run my life anymore), laughter and love, joy and moments of bliss.

I no longer feel I am earning Love by running myself in the service of others; it is more about accepting to love myself with my imperfections. It can be a wonderful and rewarding feeling to be able to feel that much love and care for others, willing to show children steps to heal themselves when in a difficult situation like being bullied (I’ve been there), but it’s also vital to respect ourselves first. That is what Swamiji taught me; to raise myself up, to ask for my own needs and to embrace the right to live my life on my own terms.

What blows me away with Swamiji is that He literally lives the dictum. ‘What you give you receive’. He knows our utmost needs and will never betray that. Through His Grace, I’ve been to places I never thought I could reach. All the hard work has paid off and I feel so blessed to be here. He taught me to be happy with what I have. What I’ve learned is that Love does not have to be earned. It is here with us always.