Newsletter #57, by Sobana Baskaran (5 August 2013)

Samarpan Online Group Meditation Newsletter

TOPIC FOR THE WEEK – I am with you

I was wishing for the best things after returning from India earlier this year. My journey throughout the three months, right from attending the 2012 International Retreat in the Dandi Ashram , visiting the Rajkot Ashram, attending Chaitanya Mahotsav at Kutch , a trip to the Goa Ashram, staying at Ahmedabad Centre in a sadhak’s family home, returning to Mumbai , visiting Vadala Mumbai Centre and staying at a sadhak’s family home there too,  staying with my dance teacher in Cuttack Orissa for a month and the last stop over around Tamil Nadu (my native is South) for the very first time for another 3 weeks. It was a beautiful adventurous and amazing journey which Swamiji and the Guru Energies arranged and planned so well. At times, I asked myself was this all planned or was it really my desire that pulled me here. But something in me kept saying it was all pre -planned and it has a purpose for me going there but I will get to know when the time is right. Life seemed to be so beautiful, so much so my family and friends were so happy for me and I also saw their life changing through the energies, although they don’t meditate.

However, life doesn’t seem to be perfect as it is. I returned back to Malaysia the first week of January. I was happy with how things were going but I did have some ego factor blocking me when I was making a decision about my career. Before leaving to India on the 14^th of October 2012, I received two job offers by two government bodies and one of them was Income Tax ( Malaysia’s Inland Revenue Board) for a temporary post. In Malaysia, it’s very rare for non-Malay, an Indian, to get a job in government. These job offers were something I didn’t apply for but they came running to me. I turned them down, and told my mum that if a job was really meant for me it will come back to me. I had written down how I ended up coming to the ashram in my previous article, and my mum sent me with her blessings, though at first she was upset I was turning down a Golden chance and choosing my spiritual journey. Then, the same Income Tax post was offered to me through my aunty, she was encouraging me to apply. But I was hesitant, I was confused about which path I should take; should I apply in a private firm for a job related to my degree in accounting or just take this job. I was thinking too hard, I wasn’t really surrendering to Swamiji.  I was thinking that it was beneficial, as I will be entitled with many benefits but what I was afraid of was being stuck with shallow minded individuals, and not performing in my career, like thinking out of the box and etc .  All these thoughts were just coming and I let them come. At the same time, I was depressed as I didn’t have a job and it was also the month of Anushtaan , and most of my meditation buddies were feeling similar; like emotions were just flowing, especially negative emotions were just flowing like a waterfall. Then, towards Mahashivarathri, I applied for jobs in other places and waited for almost 2 weeks but there were no replies. The last week of Anushtaan, I attended group meditation and there was this sadhika who can visualize. She use to see Swamiji in meditation and most of the time she told me that Swamiji use to hold my crown and hers and bless us. My soul use to welcome Swamiji to the meditation hall etc. But on that particular day she mentioned that Swamiji was telling me something and I was nodding a no and then I felt, maybe it was my job with the Income Tax department again that I was refusing to apply for. Finally, I applied after Mahashivarathri 2013, and I received the call on that Friday during my meditation, and I felt happy and was wondering why. I shared the happy news with my mum because it was always her dream to see me there. The first day of my work was a blessing too, my main boss gave me a very warm welcome and spoke to me as if I was her friend and the first few days she just came and asked me if I was ok. My colleagues are really wonderful people; they are pious and religious too. Though I am the only non-Malay there (Malay is our main race in Malaysia, followed by Chinese and a minority of Indian and other races), I don’t feel out of place as they treat me like a princess.

Swamiji and the Guru Energies had other plans too; I was the first non-Malay to make history by inaugurating an official ceremony in the Income Tax Department. I was chosen to inaugurate an official ceremony by singing my proud national anthem solo in front of 1,500 Income Tax officers and 10, 000 more were viewing it on a live streaming. I could feel loads of energy after that event. I did face pitfalls during my rehearsals but it all turned out smoothly on that day with the Gurus blessings. My main boss hugged me and congratulated me and my CEO pointed and asked me if I was the one who sang the national anthem just now? All this was truly beyond my wildest imagination. As I was thinking of breathing, after a week I went for an audition for acting in a Video titled Integrity and again I was given a role, and they complimented my acting by stating that I was the bravest and most natural actor. I knew it was truly Swamiji, because I knew acting was not my thing. I wanted to run away before entering the audition room thinking I had made the biggest mistake by going there and even daring to act. But look how Swamiji planned all these. My whole office was truly happy and excited for me. Many big bosses had approached me and asked me to go on applying for a permanent job although there were no job openings officially announced. I do not know where destiny will take me on my career path but rather than wasting time thinking, believing the guru energies who had never failed to amuse me each time , I surrender and bow  to swamiji and the gurus to design my path and life.

The more all this things happen to me the more I feel like crying for how much Swamiji and the Guru Energies have blessed me. Then I realized, Swamiji is with us like a beautiful shadow. I realized maybe it was part of my ego, which had stopped me for applying here before, but maybe the right time was after the cleansing was done during Anushtaan.  Swamiji is with us every moment, every second, every breath but we realize it only when we put our chitta on HIM J When all of us put our chitta on him, we make a Universe and become one. JBS